Life raft bobbed,
A buoy
on calm water,
heat of morning sun expanding,
warming salty air
whispering “good morning”
to a solo voyager.
Heavy eyelids slowly open,
waking,
with dreams fading
with the feel
of usual sea mist.
What day this was,
And how many
there had been,
She could not be sure
Instinctively,
she glanced at her compass,
Nested in palm,
To find hand empty,
with no compass
at all.
Racing in chest,z
panic filled her lungs,
tears burned her eyes.
Panic eclipsed,
Disbelief,
And then,
Furious.
She searched her
Sparse possessions,
Uncovering and searching through,
Paddle, blanket, canteen, bag.
She inhaled
Short, burning choking breaths
Repeatedly searching through
Uncovering each,
Paddle, blanket, canteen, bag
And found,
Nothing.
Where? How?
Why?
Breathless.
How?
Questions screamed in her mind.
Directionless now,
without a physical compass,
Amateur sailor.
And the tears ran faster,
As she stared into the distance
Angry,
Terrified,
Panicked,
The voice that rang out
As she screamed,
seemed to not be her own.
The scream
was rage,
Terror,
anguish.
Crestfallen.
Unanswerable questions
raced
through her tired mind.
Had she
not already
been terrified
by
the prospect
of her beloved’s absence?
Had she
not already
been blind
in her ignorance
of sailing…
To take on such a
foolhardy task alone?
The fool,
At sea.
Anxious wails,
Softened gradually,
into the deep blue void,
And turned into salty tears of despair,
to be carried away into the sea,
And air,
And delivered as rain,
Again filling ocean,
lake
river,
And stream.
She wondered
if anyone alive
might drink or bathe in the waters,
aware of the pain
that brought it there.
Breathe.
The breeze against her face reminded her.
Breathe.
You
Are.
You. Are.
Filling her lungs slowly,
She tasted the ocean,
and the air above.
Breathe.
Remember, why
you are here.
She picked
the paddle
from the floor of the life raft.
The feel of the wood
in hand
was her comfort/
After blistering,
as she had broke her hand in
to its use,
it became
the only thing she felt
she could control.
That,
And her own breath.
Grasping the paddle
Tightly in hand
she thought of her love.
The thought of him,
now her means
of retaining sanity.
In the void of blue,
From above and below.
She was in the center of nothing, and still.
She knew why she was there,
Memory of his face,
reminded her
there was a purpose
for all of this…
She whispered again,
I’m coming love,
the tears ran still.
She placed her hand in the water.
warmer now, than the icy waters
from whence she left,
Thus she knew she had moved,
Beckoning,
the stillness
told her
there was
Nothing,
that this was pointless,
And was in vain.
No,
She knew better.
He knew
she was coming,
He knew it,
She knew it.
And then she considered,
What if he does not?
Frozen,
She considered,
what if her love
Thought
That she would let him stay
wherever he was,
in whatever or cage,
or desert,
or jungle,
or tundra,
or vast endless ocean…
She gazed all around
at the sea,
and felt it move under her
She grasped the paddle
that lay beside her,
and placed her hand in the water,
caressing it gently,
“I’m coming, my love”,
Dipping the paddle into the water,
she pushed off,
Obstinate,
Refusing against a mighty sea,
Just as she had been from the start,
entering the unknown
Domain
of the mighty sea.
She had never
imagined herself
out
this far;
This person,
challenging gods
and the expectations
of those on land.
She would
find her love.
Just as her love
Before,
had battled
his way back
to her,
and saved her
when she
never knew
she was awaiting him.
She would continue.
Sailing.
Alone,
sailing.
What else
could she do,
But continue on?
To him, for him,
and for her,
Giving up, would not
could not
Be an option.
Give up?
Drift endlessly
in and to
a wasted
Everything?
Leaving her love
to never
know?
Infinitely wondering?
And possibly perishing,
Without her
With no guardian
To help him defy fate.
The tears rained,
running
rivers into the sea,
She pushed her boat
forward
against the tide.
Waves mounting,
at a rapid pace,
And with her tears flowing,
She sailed on.
_______________________.
Darkness slowly bled
in,
from the corners of the sky.
And she knew
It was coming.
And one
by
one,
and in constellations
flames would light the night.
On the pink horizon,
The orange sun sizzled,
and sunk into the water.
And now a bruised midnight blue surrounded,
Air and sea,
As one by one the lights began to glow above.
Stars.
She saw the lights,
as she would from her dry shore.
Yet now clearer
Than could ever be seen
on land.
Closer,
And their blinding glare
Let her know
she knew she had moved quite a distant.
The stars,
now shone above,
like she had never seen before
from shore.
And as she sailed further closer,
She knew he might
be able to see them too.
Novice sailor,
Heart had disregarded mind
when she cast off.
Here she is.
Without compass.
In the dark,
Upon a seemingly endless sea.
Gazing at the stars,
That she now had familiarity with.
Which she had not before
Casting off.
Their presence informed
which direction
to
and not
to
turn
And so she was learning,
And alas,
there he was.
Sleeping soundly, peacefully,
Upon the island sands before her.
His raven curls,
Sunbleached, and
Face bearded,
Unrecognizable,
almost.
But she knew
it was him.
Before she reached him,
He stirred and eyes opened,
Eyebrows arched in surprise,
He moved to his feet.
The two moving slowly closer together,
“Love?”
“Always!”
He smiled recognizing her, and his sanded legs moved faster toward her, running, faster
And faster,
And faster….
Rapid waves moved faster,
To stir the tiny vessel,
and jolt her mind out of deep daydream,
elapsed into exhausted slumber.
The sky above
was turning purple gray.
And ocean spray stung,
And slapped her wet hair wildly about her face.
Never yet had she sailed through a storm.
She had sailed through rain,
But distant fierce waves
Informed of storms
She had never yet met,
And rapidly approaching.
The rampant drumming in chest pounded
a war song, that she did not know.
She stared into the coming storm,
knowing there was nowhere else.
No turning back.
No way to run.
The storm was coming,
And she was there,
And it was here.
To either die remaining still,
or to possibly die venturing in,
and through.
Again, she thought of her love,
And the ability to see him,
Thought of the chance
To hold him,
To make him know
Doubtless, of her love,
How much she missed him,
How much she hoped he was well,
How much he meant,
And what she would do for him,
Here,
and now,
and at the chance,
all over again…
And the storm,
advanced.
Swallowing the sky above,
A banshee wind shrieked its arrival.
Rain pelted her small vessel.
She attempted to secure her raft,
braced herself,
readying to sail
her toy ship through.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
In gleeful opposition,
The wind
shoved her back,
and stole her breath.
Just breathe.
She clung to her paddle.
And grasping the life raft rope.
Repeatingly
chanting, in mind
Just Breathe.
Just Breathe.
Remember your Love,
For your Love,
Just Breathe.
Remember your Love,
For your Love,
Just Breathe.
Just Breathe.
Drumming stronger,
Steading.
While at once the small raft
Was battered
By wind
and wave,
One after another.
Her heart defiantly
Answered the storm back.
With hope of steering through
Now futile,
as wave upon wave struck
she could merely cling
to her paddle, vessel,
and consciousness.
Just Breathe.
Another wave broke
And a gust of wind
drew the waters back,
Pulling the boat forward,
Calming.
And then the crest,
In distance grew,
And grew.
Titan sea joined with wind brother,
Rapidly advancing
Toward the miniscule being
And her toy ship.
Tidal wave looming,
Giant crest arms outstretched,
Prepared to crush its challenger.
Grip tightened,
on rope and paddle,
She gasped a last breath,
Before the wave
Struck,
Overturning life raft,
hurling
sailor overboard
into the abyss
She of Letters 