Tongue
Bit
Teeth set,
Say nothing
Out of line
With the norm,
Status quo,
Don’t rock the boat,
Itch,
Cough,
Sneeze,
All is fine,
Strain
To
Breathe,
Remove your mask
To show your
Smile
Unmasked
Tag: Anxiety
Gaslit
Hot with anger
The memories hit
And I’m taken back
Back
Back to when I was
Grasping for strands of autonomy,
Staking my claim,
Vouching for
My
Self,
And
Gaping
For the words that will hold
That will make my reality
Real
To
Someone
Else,
And I am voiceless,
Gasping,
Begging,
Please,
To see,
What I know,
To feel what I feel,
Gaslit,
And now I know it,
And the feeling is of airlessness,
Oxygen depleted,
Would this be more real if I were bleeding?
I am ill,
See it plain,
Believe,
I know my body,
This sick,
It’s not just in,
A figment of,
A skewed creation
Of my brain
There Will Be Change
The door is open,
Something I’ve longed for,
For so long,
And still my foot hesitates,
My leg quivers,
My body shivers
of the other side,
Possibilities,
Good or bad,
A divergence from what is already had,
But whether or not I move through,
I will still be moving,
There will still be difference,
This is a conveyer belt life,
Nothing ever remains,
Whether or not you change tracks,
There will still be change
The Wounded Me
The wound had festered,
Under,
Unseen,
Growing,
Until it reached the surface,
There it was open,
The air stung,
How I did shriek!
Unable to believe such harm had been,
Was of, was in
me,
But it could not be unseen,
Unfelt,
And beckoning alone would not heal,
And so I gathered gauze of aid,
And let in the attendants for my mind and soul,
To dress the painful opening that was now exposed,
And it promised not to close,
To be stubborn as cells stitched together a flesh bandage for the wound,
And it was painful,
The knowing, the being, the healing.
Time passed,
Much time passed,
And I look back on an invisible scar in disbelief,
How was that me?
Who was that me?
The wound is closed,
But the memory of phantom pain shocks my mind once in a while,
And strange photos,
Strange writings,
Strange thoughts of things not as they really were
come back to me,
To me,
To the me that is whole,
Healed,
But who remains vigilant,
For the feared return of the wounded me
that once resided here.
In There
Where are you?
You are in there somewhere,
We are not giving up on you,
You are there,
You are,
And we will help you,
Will find you,
No, it’s not easy,
But you are not alone,
You will make it through.
The Plunge In
I have said “yes”
To something
I cannot completely yet fathom,
The pieces have not all come in to place,
Come in to view,
Fear of the unknown
Keeps me at an edge,
And yet warm comfort of hope and good will eases me into the bathwater of mysterious depths,
There has to be something good,
Out of something so right
I tell myself,
As I hold my breath
Preparing for the plunge in
She of Letters 