Puzzle Pieces

At times, the possible evades us,
Not because it’s not there,
But because we’re too scared
To pick through the pieces of what we can see,
The mess,
The muck,
The unclear,
The overwhelm,
And that’s where anxiety brings us,
To see everything and
Nothing at the same time,
Look,
But closer,
Deeper,
One piece at a time,
Even a 1000 piece puzzle
Requires this discipline

Rx: Breathe

2.12.2023

Anxiety is fear
Like a heartbeat
Like a pulse
A drip,
Fed through the system,
Headed for
And moved unwittingly
By that very heart
To the heart

Breathe in,
Feel;
Feel wind,
Air,
Oxygen
Rush, flood in
Into the system.
A reboot,
An infusion
An intervention,
A pherisis of essence

Breathe out;
For fear, anxiety
Built up is toxin
Is builder of other toxins
In the effort to protect from the hurt

Breathe in;
Smell, taste, feel, know
even see this air,
H20 medicine
That can soothe a frenetic heart
Back into rhythm

Breathe out
So that heart,
And mind too,
May remember their own cycle;
Cycle
Letting tensions go
And of
“Breathing”:
Tensing and relaxing,
Taking and releasing;
Letting flow
In and out

Gaslit

Hot with anger
The memories hit
And I’m taken back
Back
Back to when I was
Grasping for strands of autonomy,
Staking my claim,
Vouching for
My
Self,
And
Gaping
For the words that will hold
That will make my reality
Real
To
Someone
Else,
And I am voiceless,
Gasping,
Begging,
Please,
To see,
What I know,
To feel what I feel,
Gaslit,
And now I know it,
And the feeling is of airlessness,
Oxygen depleted,
Would this be more real if I were bleeding?
I am ill,
See it plain,
Believe,
I know my body,
This sick,
It’s not just in,
A figment of,
A skewed creation
Of my brain

There Will Be Change

The door is open,
Something I’ve longed for,
For so long,
And still my foot hesitates,
My leg quivers,
My body shivers

at the unknown
of the other side,

Possibilities,
Good or bad,
A divergence from what is already had,
But whether or not I move through,
I will still be moving,
There will still be difference,
This is a conveyer belt life,
Nothing ever remains,
Whether or not you change tracks,
There will still be change