Instructions for this Life

There should be clear answers
But there are not,
There ought to be specific directions,
Instructions in a manual of how to operate
This vessel,
In this life,
But there are not,
No “How to”,
to be in different modes,
Different states of being,
In times of joy and great despair,
Instead, one is left with hearsay,
Lessons,
from others who have traveled,
Down their own paths,
This wisdom shared to guide in the unknown;
Herein lay the hope:
There is no one right track,
No one right way to traverse
This path you tread,
You lead;
It is unpaved,
Meant to be worn by this very trek,
Thereby shaped by you.

Deserving

I deserve
More than I know yet,
I deserve
Because hell I’m worth it,
I deserve
Because I know who I am,
And loving her makes me realize
I can’t expect love, respect and affection from another,
If I can’t expect that from myself,
for myself,
And so I’ll confess it here:
“I love me”;
I am intelligent,
I am wise
I am beautiful,
I am kind,
I am good
I am awe-inspiring
I am all this and more,
And yes, I am god-damn deserving.

Walking with the Ancestors

I feel you here,
Ancestors,
Wordless you whisper in my mind,
Letting me know I am never alone,
That you reside beside my soul,
Ancestors,
I know you weren’t perfect,
You were human,
Now as spirit,
You are lessons,
Guides,
Wisdom,
Perhaps what I know is not from my mind alone,
But the culmination of your knowledge,
You have been here always,
Now I am just wise enough,
Open enough to see,
Ancestors,
May your continued existence be blessed,
I am grateful for your gifts of presence and wisdom,
As you walk in step with me.

Learning Parenthood

I don’t know
How to do what I am doing
–Fake it till you make it,
But each age changes the game,
And I am back to square one,
Learning
Learning how to be the teacher,
Who vaguely knows the lesson,
A novice at the most important task,
Of raising up the babies,
But this is how it goes,
As even the seasoned
Don’t really know,
We learn from our mistakes,
And oh there are many!
We learn from the wisdom
The innocence of youth bestows,
We learn,
We learn,
And then we learn again

The World Envisioned (a reverse poem)

This
Is not
all,
the world
envisioned for you dear,
I expected
more
Of our fellow humans,
believe in something
Better,
more than this
home
You have been given,
May you see the good
come.


Come,
May you see the good
You have been given,
Home,
more than this
Better,
believe In something
Of our fellow humans,
More.
I expected,
envisioned for you dear,
the world.
All,
is not
this.