Waxing poetic on thoughts, theory & the times
Its been forever
Since I’ve written you a love song,
Been forever since I gazed upon
The stars,
And knew you too were gazing back
Through space and time,
Knew my art
Was comfort to your soul,
Knew I could do only to your body,
What you still do to me,
Without a touch,
Without a glance,
Effortless romance.
I can’t but feel the ache,
The burn of loss,
Each moment I am awake,
I’ve lost a trust,
A sense of companionship
Of a valued friend and lover,
I want to forgive,
But there is too much
Of the wound left untreated,
Too much,
Left unanswered,
I don’t know how to heal betrayal,
I hate you,
For this pain,
But I love you,
And that’s why I’m in this position,
I almost think this is your intent,
If you don’t want me
Just say it,
Speak up,
Use your words,
Loud and clear,
Let me figure out how to live,
Without you.
Soft, rose pink,
The quartz of my love,
Hangs close to my heart,
Amplifying my feeling,
My need to express
My need to be,
With the one I adore,
I have wrestled with
My feelings,
And rested with the knowledge,
That this is for whom I care,
For whom my heart revolves,
Soft,
But dense,
This love
I have for you.
The hours we were together were infinite in timespan,
Too much for either to understand,
How idle we became with limitless hours,
And then space opened up,
And our time was stolen
By chaos and confusion,
And then it stopped,
And we were left still riveting,
The inertia of life leaving us dizzy,
Lost in a haze that felt exciting and new,
The honeymoon of us,
And it was as if we were gifted a second chance,
A redo,
An opportunity,
And it was everything,
It was,
It
Was
Until the bottom opened and the wallpaper peeled,
Exposing a something underneath,
Needing to heal,
Something needing care,
And love that I wanted nothing more to give,
Unsure if it would be received,
For nothing is the same,
Each shift
Changes rules of the game,
And I am filled with love,
That I long to give,
That I can only expell
Through tears
As you keep me at arm’s length,
And in the moments that we touch,
That we come close,
Become close,
I am breathless with anticipation,
With fear,
That each moment might be our last,
How gingerly I must tread,
Must care for each second,
For I know what losing you
Feels like,
And I know what having you here
Means to me,
This is a tightrope of epic heights,
For us together,
I’ll do what it takes,
To save our life.
Hold me
Again,
Not like before,
Not like then,
Like now,
Like we’re scared,
Like we’re not sure where we’re going,
Like we are each other’s only hopes,
To see it through the pain,
To feel the love we both still harbor,
Let it go,
Let it out,
Whatever you have left is real,
No,
It will never be the same,
Never be like before,
But it will always be.
The car broke
But we can fix it,
The heart hurts
But we can heal it,
You and I,
Are we,
We can be it,
It’s not over,
Until we can’t feel it,
You for me,
Me for you,
It’s love,
Despite the challenges,
It’s love in spite of the challenges,
It’s love,
That fights the challenges,
That perseveres,
When all else fails,
That turns the days to years,
We are in the eye,
Of the storm,
I won’t leave you now,
Not when one man’s down,
Not when we’re meant to stand,
Together,
Hand in hand.
She of Letters 