Midnight Deja-vu

I don’t want to go back,
But I am unsure of forward;
Frustration meets me
In this state of being
Stuck;
Home is where the heart is,
Still, a place is needed,
To be,
For one to be lifted up
By land and
Held by space,
That which is affirming and accepting,
And welcomes you to its setting,
I am working on that for me,
For us,
After adversity jettisoned us
From where we had
Only meant to be temporarily,
Somehow, I had forgotten;
Midnight,
Deja-vu,
Online,
I am here
and now looking,
For a place,
the next move.

Returned

https://youtu.be/YJfNFy0213g

I
never realized I was held
by fear of him
Until I gained the strength
to go;
Until push came hard enough to shove
And I realized
I
was not yet
as fully powerful
As I thought,
While I stayed,
Under his weight;

It was in the run,
In running
Away
That
I
felt the surge
Felt the start
Of me coming into me,

In the run
I
saw who I was
saw who I could be,
Saw myself standing out of his shadow,
And saw what I was capable of;

In leaving,
I
returned.