Crocus

I try to remember
Who I was
Before I started this journey,
A journey of journeys,
where I have left what I know
And found gems along the road
With each step;
Fallen,
And scraped more than my knees,
Scratched beneath my
Surface,
And looked to see who I am underneath;
I wonder and look back to find
Who I once was,
I know she would not recognize me now,
And at times I worry, of sharing all on this path with others
But deep down, I know,
Damn!
How proud She–me of the past—
would be
if she
knew
All I’ve traversed,
The hell and high water I have overcome,
And still come out able
To find beauty
In the crocus of Spring
In its vibrant yet gentle purple petals;
That crocus
That is me,
Having pushed up through toughened winter dirt,
Broken free,
To not just be beautiful,
But to welcome others
Out,
And to be amazed by their own epic journeys.

Vulnerability: I Love

Image: Me before my 9th grade social (2001)

Vulnerability is my vulnerability,
I pick and choose
the pieces of me to share
I shuffle my deck,
Lay my cards out
Then scuttle back,
Back in,
Under cover
To safety,
Concerned others might see.

Or, I did;

Until
Sometime this past November,
When a New Birthday gift
Enhanced my shell,
Made it stronger
And made it removable,
I need not bare all,
But I can bare.
And I can be so damn proud,
And openly admire
this body,
this mind,
this heart,
this soul,
With all the bumped,
Bruised
Smoothed,
Filled,
Filed,
Etched,
Modeled,
Molded aspects
Of this vessel;
Of this person I am.

This person
She is Beautiful;
Authentic,
Wild,
Ever growing,
Ever learning,
Ever being;
For she is living.

And I love her;
She is Me.

Experiencing Joy

Make the list,
And check the boxes,
Off,
One by one.
But never forget to leave one more,
Always check it
But never off,
This task– the simple,
Beautiful,
Necessary,
Preventative,
Supplement,
Medicine,
And cure
That is
Experiencing Joy.

[Image: Some of my Joys– Me being myself (a kid at heart), and dressing up to bring joy to self and others. ]

Pent-Up

Get it out
The pent up
The block;
You,
Levee on the verge of break
Needing
controlled release

Express the unsaid
The wordless,
With body, spirit, mind,
Any way
To let out
The In,
The feelings
The feeling trapped
Get out
Of the cage that
Is both unlocked
And ever
open