Tag: self

Black and White Dresses

~ Vanessa ~ 2 Comments

Most of my dresses
Of Black and white
Are Red all over,
From heart poured out.
The polkadotted one you picked specifically,
But your memory is of yellow.
A yellow dress
Of a girl way back
At the beginning;
The nostalgia of the moment we took off.
I tried to be her again,
But she’s gone;
Grown,
Into dresses fit for me now,
Dresses that feel my shape
That know my sway,
Monochrome or multishade.
I own them, in my way.
Black and white,
Read me now,
I’ve come so far,
Crashed, never burned,
360, watch me turn,
Watch me now,
Hold my own,
I spell me out
And what I deserve,
Clear as day,
In black and white.

Have My Back

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

I know who I am,
Until I don’t,
Until I can’t figure out
That my behavior doesn’t look like Me,
I know Me,
Until I don’t;
It’s then that my beloveds catch me
As I freefall,
They hold me back,
They have my back,
Even when I
Don’t recognize it.

Processing

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

I am processing,
All the recent things,
Rehashing what was
To understand what is;
This is difficult, necessary labor,
To birth the new,
the next
version of me,
With an upgrade in process,
Excuse any confusion
While my system comes up to date.

The Pilgrimage

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

Summer solstice came
As my footfalls returned me here,
And with them,
a great sea-change,
Of my shelled heart,
a cracking
And from it grew,
Bloomed,
Burst forth a greater
Beating vessel,
Capable of holding more,
The conflicting emotions
And complexities of what can only come
For out-growing fear,
Of learning what to take away from lessons learned
From this recent venture home and round again;
This–my pilgrimage.