Tag: Sadness

Self-fulfilling Prophecies

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

My favorite songs
Are my self-fulfilling prophecies:
I like him,
He likes me,
But we’ve got baggage,
And he’s got a “her”,
Again;
Incompatibility
From the start
But damn it was love and passion
And heart,
It wasn’t a lie
Until we both turned,
Claiming “too hard to try” anymore,
Your fault,
My fault,
Confused;
Tears and anger coincide
I want to hate you,
Want to have you
want to love you,
To again collide;
But they say it’s too late,
Too much said and done,
Both burned
too many times

From this Stone

~ Vanessa ~ 1 Comment

I am not sure who
I am
Sometimes,
For I lose myself
In loving others
Selflessly,
Only to be the
Battered for
Their ram

My salty,
solitary tears
At times help,
Help me float
As I drift out,
Away,
always
Alone;
Lonely

I can not do it all,
Never was meant to,
I am tired
Of hurting,
And of being alone,
This way,
I fear
my heart calcifying;
And still of me
Demanded
Blood,
From this stone

Demand of the Divine

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

Night is falling in too soon,

Suddenly,

Too soon,

The wind abruptly lifted from our lungs as we watch,

And recognize,

Too soon,

The good and sweet we recall of you,

Knowing this is too soon,

For the life that is yours to be removed from ours,

Tears they fall,

Or tears they stall,

As disbelief sets in,

We look to the great beyond

Wondering what resides there,

For you,

For each of us,

Demanding why,

Of Spirit we still long to know,

Long to understand,

If there is a why in the divine,

And what that is,

We demand to know,

For why do the sweet, the young,  the innocent, the good need to go,

And in unideal manners,

And why should and do the good die young,

This is penance for those who remain, 

To watch as you go,

We cry,

As weeping bodies,

Our sacrificial gift for one we love,

You are slipping into the greater existence now, 

in and around us

Joining with spirit,

We will mourn your corporeal existence,

But aim to know you on an entirely new plane,

Just as you will come to be,

May we know you more,

In memory,

Then we ever imagined of possibility.

 

 

(Not Sorry) I Love You

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

I love you,
You know that,
And we’ve been through so much,
Come so far,
And I love you,
So I am sorry if I loved you before you were ready,
In a way you can’t love me,
But I love you,
So I want your happiness,
Even if that means without me,
Even if this feels like death,
I am sorry,
sad this is,
As it is
But I am not sorry I love you.

Putting Down the Dog

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

“Let’s go for a walk, “
He said
“Just us,”
And to our daughter that she should stay home with her aunt and uncle,
Unusual,
I made a cryptic joke,
About putting a dog down on such a walk,
I was to realize just how close such a phrase was,
We walked out back
–Our daughter followed,
And we rested in the middle of a vacant path,
And in a clear, but quivering voice
He shot me
With words of “it’s me, not you”,
And “I love you, but I’m not in love…”,
And as tears bled from my brown eyes,
I was suddenly alone,
Part of my heart dying there on the gravel road,
My body has moved,
With aimless motions,
In a daze,
And as it all settles in,
I am still here,
Like a put down dog,
Dying.

Both Ways

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

Open up your heart,
There is so much pain
Outside its walls,
Open up your heart,
And know it’s better for love when shared,
Open up ,
Up is where you will find
The freedom,
Open up,
And know you’ll be letting in
The love,
The light;
This goes both ways