Waxing poetic on thoughts, theory & the times
Though we may not be “together”
My heart feels for you,
And I wish nothing but life’s bounty for you,
Our souls entwined for so long made separation near impossible,
But by tearing asunder,
We each wear a gaping wound,
And while I wish it were not so,
I can only pray it was for the best,
May we each heal separately,
To find what we need most vitally
To individually thrive,
Propagating our own beautiful futures.
I wanted so desperately
To be free of hurt;
I threw everything
To the wind
And over months watched it settle
And here again is the pain;
It was more than what I thought,
A symptom
Of a cause I still do not understand,
I ache for pieces of the past
That I find comfort in,
But this is past tense,
And I am tense
Wanting to try again,
Unable to move
In any way,
Unsure of what next,
Or how;
But yes, I feel it still
Fear
Makes me deny hard truths
Only few know,
And I hide
To cover what I bare;
Regretful am I
Of this tendency
And where it leaves me here
Solitary;
I want to apologize,
For all the individual wrongs,
But I fear we’re past that now,
You have moved on,
But I am stuck
In 2022
Starting to pay for
My refusal to see
I was a problem;
It was never just someone
or something else;
But me;
My want for a fuller life
Together
Made me override,
Overrule,
Take the reigns
I had no right to hold alone;
And you knew me
When I could not see
Me for me;
Especially when I wasn’t being
Me;
I faulted you for saying
The things I did not want
To hear
And now I’m sitting here
Writing
About them,
Trying to figure out
How to climb out
Of this ocean of hurt
With waves that only tease
With a short relief of air;
I am sorry for everything,
You were right,
And now I’m not there;
No, I’m lost
Alone.
Hold me
I want you to hold,
To lay close to your beating heart,
As close as we are now apart,
I want
To comfort your being
Of all the fears that pass over your brow,
I want to kiss away tears
That escape your tiring eyes,
I want to love you,
As I was always meant to,
Holding you close,
Like there are no barriers between us,
And I take your name,
As if we are one,
And the same,
May our hearts beat as one,
For always,
My love.
I. He is my protector
and I am his
as much as we might fight it
Our love is true
We are now the family of “us”.
II. He is sleeping
And I fight the urge
To burrow closer
And possibly wake his slumber
Just to see his eyes
Hear his voice,
Feel his breath,
Or find a pen to
Write about him.
—
III. We are every character
In the most fantastic
Never ending children’s story.
—
IV. I have always been writing of
For, and to you,
With different character names
Never even knowing it,
Or that you even existed.
—
V. You are my true love,
My shield,
My light reflected in armor
You are my white knight,
And I your veiled
Exotic, damsel,
Waiting at tower’s edge,
To be saved,
To save,
Only you,
And confess,
“I love you”.
—
VI. In other lives
he has been
Zeus to my Hera,
Jesus to my Mary Magdalene,
Ares to Aphrodite,
Mercury to Venus,
We are cyclical,
Destiny,
Whatever happens next,
We will be.
I have always been writing of,
For,
And to you,
With different
Character names,
Never even knowing it,
Or that you even existed.
She of Letters 