Go to Sleep

In the dark,
Dear one,
There is peace,
And most often quiet,
But you are missing nothing,
But my audible silence
As I write this poem,
As I think these thoughts,
As I coax myself toward slumber

And alas,
Once my eyelids have grown heavy,
And my writing utensil drops,
I close up “shop,”
And I too
To sleep

I See Us (Colors)

I look at our daughter

And I see


I see


I see


But the world,

Petty and shallow

Sees only monochrome,

Sees not the sunken space under eye that is


AND the straight chestnut hair

That is you,

The smile like cupids bow

From me

The sharp eyebrow arch from you,

The cheeks,

The small ears– Of my father

The chin,

The height,

The perfect creation

In combination of us,

Can’t they see?

Can’t they see?

Can’t they see beyond


And white?

Yes, they are Colorblind,


The spectrum,

To hues never before seen,

The hues that  were made from you AND me.

The hue that is, she.

They’ll deny me,

Deny you,

Deny us “parent,”

Because they cannot dare to see,

What is right in front of them,

Dare to believe,

Dare to accept




To become, I must go,
To come, I must go,
To places elsewhere,
On this plane,
In this eternity,
I must seek, so I may find,
This is a journey,
I was, and was not expecting to take,
My departure has arrived,
But know I shall return,
For you are my heart,
Now being pulled away,
But never severed from my soul,
My heart is big enough, full enough,
To take you with me,
Even when we are apart,
Distance cannot quell my love,
As the cosmos,
It is endless and withstanding time,
But I must go,
For moments merely,
That I know feel like eternities,
For that is how it feels to me,
Know that nothing
Could hold me back,
From returning to you,
For you are my being,
In a separate body,
My precious, beloved child,
No, Nothing,
Not Ice and snow,
Nor hurricane gale,

Nor hellfire,

Nothing love,


Learning Parenthood

I don’t know
How to do what I am doing
–Fake it till you make it,
But each age changes the game,
And I am back to square one,
Learning how to be the teacher,
Who vaguely knows the lesson,
A novice at the most important task,
Of raising up the babies,
But this is how it goes,
As even the seasoned
Don’t really know,
We learn from our mistakes,
And oh there are many!
We learn from the wisdom
The innocence of youth bestows,
We learn,
We learn,
And then we learn again

30 Going on 15

On the edge of
Pick a job
Any job
What would you like to be?
Your life.
Choose it.
Pick, pick, pick
Pick pick
Tick, tick, tick
Choose wisely.
And here.
You like to do that thing that you mentioned,
that I wasn’t listening to,
and doesn’t matter because you can’t
make money, money,
money, doing
Here, here
Here, just take this and that,
and all those, and fill, and sign, here
And here,
And you had a question?
I couldn’t-
And Here
Here you’ll find that anything you do has a paper trail
No, None here
Here the ink is permanent
That would waste too much
Time to work, work.
Now what was your occupational activity?
Oh yes, that one.
It doesn’t make much money, money
But somehow you’ll have to
Pay at the front,
We accept cash, credit, stocks, bonds, blood
Money to live
To learn,
Money for true happiness
For a good education,
Picket fence,
Marital bliss,
A dog, a house, a car,
2.5 kids.
What? You chose
See page 2000,
Its standard contractual arrangement,
And you’ve already completed parts 4, 5, and 6
A change in the contract brings us back here
We’ve put you together,
Now we must tear you apart.
Now the parts you didn’t read,
You should have before!
No! No tears! There’s no time,
Hurry, you’re a mother,
An adult,
You’re about to be 30!
Now all you have are debts,
Your accomplishments
P(no school, past jobs, and your children don’t count),
Your finances,
Your failures,
Your reason for these claims,
Let’s spread them out.
Trauma? Relive every moment,
and then we’ll “figure something out”.
Childcare? No.
That’s something you must arrange
Should have been better prepared,
For this
For life. You don’t live and learn,
You best just know,
Count the cards just don’t get caught,
This is life,
the luck of the draw,
with notarized agreements.
Ok, you’re complete. Welcome to 30.
Please gather your child, your memories, triumphs, and trials,
and move back half your life,
to 15.