Fear
Makes me deny hard truths
Only few know,
And I hide
To cover what I bare;
Regretful am I
Of this tendency
And where it leaves me here
Solitary;
I want to apologize,
For all the individual wrongs,
But I fear we’re past that now,
You have moved on,
But I am stuck
In 2022
Starting to pay for
My refusal to see
I was a problem;
It was never just someone
or something else;
But me;
My want for a fuller life
Together
Made me override,
Overrule,
Take the reigns
I had no right to hold alone;
And you knew me
When I could not see
Me for me;
Especially when I wasn’t being
Me;
I faulted you for saying
The things I did not want
To hear
And now I’m sitting here
Writing
About them,
Trying to figure out
How to climb out
Of this ocean of hurt
With waves that only tease
With a short relief of air;
I am sorry for everything,
You were right,
And now I’m not there;
No, I’m lost
Alone.