Tag: Love

Sorry.

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

November 28, 2016

I am sorry,
for my forthcoming,
for my audacity
At the wrong times
my delayed boldness
sometimes,
always,
gets the best of me.
When for me
answers are finally clear
I sometimes overlook the
Other 7.5 billion people here.

I am sorry.
I am not quite sure
what I had expected.
I did not mean to intrude.
There was a reason
I avoided
indulging
these thoughts,
hopes, memories.

I am sorry.
I respect,
As you did,
I do and will respect
as much for you.
Freeman,
I now know
how much is at stake
When sand slips
An entire decade away

I am sorry.
though before
what was written
still holds true.
I am sorry for my
selfishness.
You are a more noble man
Than I.

I am sorry.
May your hearts be full,
And love surrounding;
Healing,
Happiness,
Meaning,
Purpose,
Peace,
because.

Nightfall

~ Vanessa ~ 2 Comments

July 31, 2017
The ripening moon
Hangs above my window
And beckons me
To keep my eyelids raised
An hour longer
She had seduced me
This way before
With promises
In the midnight hour
But this is how
I lost touch
With reality
And the sun
Still, I wonder,
Does she tempt you too?

Pottery

~ Vanessa ~ 2 Comments

August 2, 2017
I have come into my own
Dredged through
The swamp
Of the lowest
of my lows
And pulled myself up
To stand erect
Looked back in reflection
And from the muck
Sculpted a self
I can admire
I am the potter and clay,
I am the pot
-that which cannot exist
Without
the gaping hole
at center

Strange Love

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

June 10, 2005

I have not given up
For reasons
I have yet to understand
For circumstances
I am yet to apprehend
Teetered on this tightrope of life
Given the benefit of doubt
Only to see that I have been left out
Lean on no one, no more
Expect from none other than me
Dream my own dreams
Weave my own path
Take a breath
And let it pass

I have said my goodbyes
To a time when I was
Someone
I never wished to be
Someone who remains
Deep inside of me
Times are difficult
I will admit
And I am still
a little strange
But keep up,
And in time you will find
That no one’s life
is quite the same
That despite whether or not
others can
I still have
to love me.

One More

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

November 2016

For years I slowly shut myself down
I learned to cope
the only way I knew how,
A true scorpion child
my protection from pain
is to sting,
At the cause
At the pain
Until numb,
Paralysis sets in
Seeming cool, callused,
From only my eyes hint at within.
Irreplaceable.
But somehow I replaced.
And convinced myself,
I hurt myself to set you free,
Wherever, whatever,
You needed,
I wanted that for you.

How gifted writers,
Can speak volumes
with silence,
and mute with small talk.
The space between,
afraid, so afraid,
of feelings that remained.

Wondering what just one more
kiss,
One more
talk,
One more
game,
One more
cup,
one more
ride,
one more…

Beginner

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

Written 2005

Please forgive me
For my inexperience,
My awkward footing,
These shoes are new
–A little too big,
Though they looked
Like they would fit,
I will grow into them
If you give me time,
I know the right footwork
I have seen it before,
Just never danced
a tango for two
And of course,
Like I mentioned
–the shoes

Trust me,
I am not always this shy
That is just a part
Of my inexperience
That we will need to get by

Sometimes I am too bold
Forgive me for this
–Out of the loop
For far too long,
Sorry,
If I come on too strong
I will get the hang
If you just take the lead
Sorry, again,
If I forget to breathe

And sorry for all of my apologies
Please,
Just don’t let me dive in too deep