I am
Who I am
Despite how others see me,
I will persevere with my identity,
With my abilities,
With my disabilities,
I am,
Because I exist,
Because I am here,
And that is good,
In whatever plane I reside on,
My identity defies convention,
Challenges boundaries,
Stretches imagination,
Ensures my breath is not wasted,
Promises promises,
Of something grander than believed possible yesterday,
My identity is, was, will be,
And when I go to my next destination,
I leave behind a legacy,
That I am building with the creation,
The priceless artwork that is my identity.
Tag: Life
Guiding Me
Naming values
Is easier said
Than done,
Defining what motivates,
What drives,
What guides,
Is like catching the breath you breathe,
But, it can be done,
It can be done,
To claim a fraction of one’s identity,
What guides me?
Love;
Belief in good;
In the innate neutrality of all nature;
In the naivete of mind, driven by self-preservation, for survival;
In a unity, interconnectedness of all beings,
-Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually;
In the reality that there is more than we can ever know;
That minds and knowledge are a gift;
In ultimate truth, unencumbered by belief;
In the beauty and necessary of diversity- cosmic creativity;
In the innate equal worth of all humans;
In the equal value of all creatures;
In the need for salvation as a daily occurrence, not for the end of times, or judgement;
In the reality of karmic balance;
In a spiritual realm, that we may never understand, though we might catch glimpses;
In evolution as a part of Divine creation;
This list is a theological reflection of mind,
Capturing pieces of my soul in diction,
But it is endlessly incomplete,
As I grow,
Moment to moment,
Understanding more,
But these remain with me,
The realized and unrealized,
Guiding in step,
Guiding in deed,
Guiding me.
Imminent Moments
So, so far we’ve come,
Through asteroids belts of adversity
To stand a little bit taller,
Nesting in the beings that we are,
Learning to be at peace
With that which is,
And to persevere in and through the unforeseen,
This has been a decade of change,
Of changes to self and globe,
Bringing us closer,
Pulling apart,
Colliding,
Fusing,
Becoming,
We measure in years and decades,
When it should be by the moments,
The incalculable fleeting moments that hold together our lives,
We should measure in lives we touch, lives we are touched by,
Measure in measures we’ve made,
Measure in the tiny variables that make up the time that slips away,
That we are left ten years later trying to collect from snapshot photos,
In the digital age we’ve taken for granted the picture,
Only to see them later, finding the looks,
Memories, emotions,
We almost missed,
Oh what comes next,
No one can quite guess,
It is with fear and excitement,
Enmeshed
That we take the polar plunge,
Into the moment to moment future,
As the clock strikes twelve,
Nothing is ever as more imminent
Than the very next moment.
Awakening Showers
While in the hospital last year I experienced an awakening. As my treatment progressed, self-care was my primary concern (as a mom self-care is often neglected). I slowly became accustomed to caring for my own vessel as I might a new babe; therein it is fitting that patients here were given Johnson & Johnson’s baby wash to bathe.
In bathing, as I was cleansed with this scent of infancy, under a large rain-like shower head I was overcome by beauteous imagery. I could envision myself, as myself, and also of a diety carefully bathing, and from the soapy froth forming creation, light, and life; A goddess carefully combing her hair and the lose strands that fell becoming new beings, out of the coils- bits of divine DNA. How carefully she would need to care for herself, to keep all of existence in balance. Every move the being made, having an impact on heavenly bodies and their atmospheres, on the weather of the cosmos- all related to her own equilibrium.
I went to then mediate, and write on this. I felt a humbled and yet honored sense of connection as I had been gifted a vision that I might best be able to understand the powers that be, and how to grasp the importance and lesson of caring just as delicately for the life that is me. My heart swells with disbelief and amazement for the images bestowed upon me, which are beyond my normal scope of thinking. I am in awe of how such thoughts came to me, and of considering: why? I continue to wonder of this experience and recognize new meanings for my own being, and for others, for the earth, nature, all of which are in need of care, as even a mother deity would need, in order to keep the everything well cared for. I think of the advice on airplanes to put on one’s own oxygen mask first, and on the idea that “cleanliness is next to godliness”, — I appreciate that in letting myself accept the open arms in a hospital setting, and baring myself to the unknown, I Iet in a light that I had been warding off while not taking the same care with myself, as I had others, and thereby not leaving space for the divine to enter.
My Spirituality
My spirituality is ethereal,
I am floating in the cosmos,
With an Earth mother by my side,
It is a view of spirits real, and tangible at every turn,
My spirituality is elastic,
Growing, stretching, malleable
With the more I come to know,
My spirituality is multiple
In its sources of knowledge,
Of coming to understand what is and what is not,
My spirituality is a song,
A familiar, siren song that awakens parts of my soul
I never knew existed,
My spirituality is eclectic,
It does not follow a straight and narrow,
But rather a loose and wide,
To absorb wonders of a limitless everything that has come to be,
My spirituality is real,
It is more powerful when named,
When identified,
It is beautiful, magickal,
It is of and in me, sustaining me,
Grounding me,
For fear without it,
This body composed of stardust might
Simply float away,
Leaving this glorious spirit bare.
Another Light: Prayer for the Wolf
I had never seen a wolf before,
At least not from behind a pane,
Until yesterday,
And in a fraction of a moment,
I saw it,
I saw you,
Wounded wolf,
with eye pendent
And you should not have moved,
But you did,
and the life in you
is what disturbed,
And I prayed for you,
For your pain to be ended,
For the bullet to come fast,
For you to find peace
in your next plane,
You are my sibling,
I saw it in you,
In your gaze
In your sentience,
Wolf, I cannot imagine your pain,
But I can imagine your life,
And I prayed you lived this one well,
May you find another light,
In another life
She of Letters 