Tag: Healing

Take Some Time

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

I’m scared
Of being open,
Of letting myself
relax
Enough to feel your touch,
Is it real?
Is this real?
Or just another illusion?
I can’t be,
won’t be,
taken for a fool,
again,
I leave my heart out,
But watch from a distance,
Guarded,
Prepared to snatch it back,
Should your ways appear
Less than

My heart,
She still hurts,
Weight of the past
Pulling,
With each beat,
Beating still,
Beating for you,
But I don’t trust anything anymore,
Familiar places and faces
Are now foreign to me,
Unfamiliar the motions,
For this dance of courtship
Is awkward,
And yet it pulls
Like a magnet,
The force making “us” natural,
Still
This heart she weeps,
Riddled With battle wounds,
This
is going to take
Some time.

Save Our Life

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

The hours we were together were infinite in timespan,
Too much for either to understand,
How idle we became with limitless hours,
And then space opened up,
And our time was stolen
By chaos and confusion,
And then it stopped,
And we were left still riveting,
The inertia of life leaving us dizzy,
Lost in a haze that felt exciting and new,
The honeymoon of us,
And it was as if we were gifted a second chance,
A redo,
An opportunity,
And it was everything,
It was,
It
Was
Until the bottom opened and the wallpaper peeled,
Exposing a something underneath,
Needing to heal,
Something needing care,
And love that I wanted nothing more to give,
Unsure if it would be received,
For nothing is the same,
Each shift
Changes rules of the game,
And I am filled with love,
That I long to give,
That I can only expell
Through tears
As you keep me at arm’s length,
And in the moments that we touch,
That we come close,
Become close,
I am breathless with anticipation,
With fear,
That each moment might be our last,
How gingerly I must tread,
Must care for each second,
For I know what losing you
Feels like,
And I know what having you here
Means to me,
This is a tightrope of epic heights,
For us together,
I’ll do what it takes,
To save our life.

The Wounded Me

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

The wound had festered,
Under,
Unseen,
Growing,
Until it reached the surface,
There it was open,
The air stung,
How I did shriek!
Unable to believe such harm had been,
Was of, was in
me,
But it could not be unseen,
Unfelt,
And beckoning alone would not heal,
And so I gathered gauze of aid,
And let in the attendants for my mind and soul,
To dress the painful opening that was now exposed,
And it promised not to close,
To be stubborn as cells stitched together a flesh bandage for the wound,
And it was painful,
The knowing, the being, the healing.

Time passed,
Much time passed,
And I look back on an invisible scar in disbelief,
How was that me?
Who was that me?
The wound is closed,
But the memory of phantom pain shocks my mind once in a while,
And strange photos,
Strange writings,
Strange thoughts of things not as they really were
come back to me,
To me,
To the me that is whole,
Healed,
But who remains vigilant,
For the feared return of the wounded me
that once resided here.

Healing

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

I am broken;

aren’t we all?
Born into a world that does not care how finite our bodies are,
How fragile our minds are,

I am broken by life,
And made whole again,
living,
albeit scarred,
By the gift of healing

Kintsugi

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

You,
broken beautiful,
precious porcelain,
Held together by gold,

Kintsugi,

Your cracks
–where the light shines through,
So that you glow,
And your halo illuminates
those who have the gift of your presence,

I had that gift
And it was,

And it is

priceless

Mercy

~ Vanessa ~ Leave a comment

Listen to the bird song
Listen to the trees
Listen to the butterflies
Polar bear, and honey bee
Listen to the tides,
Listen to the breeze
Listen to the snow and ice,
Listen to the Earth
As she cries for her children,
As she cries for mercy
Listen intently
Listen, listen
Listen and act,
Before we are unable