Game Genie

This spirit has always craved mystery
Of trying for the seemingly impossible;
And yet it fears failure
At the end of a long game;
It fears erasure,
Fears unsaved progress,

But that was then,
This is now
Game Genie,
Changed it all,
Shifted the odds,
Way back when,
But it was never really the game
or the game system
That was at stake;
It was the mind,
The controller of the hands
holding the game control,

It was the mind shuffling between
Levels of life,
Competition in game,
At school,
At home,
From which friends were those
Fellow players
Sifted out and held close,
For keeps.

Along the way
The cartridges get dusty,
The disks scratch,
The software glitches,
We become tired,
We get distracted
We stop playing, because

Our fingers need only work the buttons once more,
To remember the sequences,
To do it just
To beat that Boss,
To escape that trap,
To remember it was never
About winning it all
On the first try,
Unless you had “backup”,
I, you, we all
Were never meant to game alone,

But we got older
And we saved our games
And some tucked them away,
Each other

We got older
Our relationships got complicated
And became new games,
Complete with bosses
And real became fake, and fake real

Never mind the console,
Or the title
We are all trying to beat it,
This epic game.
We get minor victories,
And the harsh truth being
We will all eventually get
Game Over

In radically accepting
My eventual,
final KO,
I strive to make my own sequences;
Reset to replay my favorite games;
Reconnect with my backup;
And break the rules
That bound me to a fear of failure

If I am going to one day end
I can not
live the game
Afraid to even play.

Desire / Crossings Hearts

Innocent desire
no harm, no foul,
all in its right time.
That’s the way love goes
It’s not about the physical

It’s about something that transcends all we know so well
all we know too well
and here we are in this virtual space
and i know
the desire was never a sin

it was a symptom of the pull
of being so close
But then
often derailed,

I wrote this long before I even knew what it would feel like
to be loved and pulled in a way that…
or wait, I did know. I knew the juvenile version,
In innocence
a purified, clear love
that had no expectations
no demands.
and here we are
so very close, and yet so far,
in all directions,
cycling closer moment by moment.
I’m impatient. How do you wait
when so, so very close?
i feel your calm,
and humor
in seeing me squirm
for something i am so positive you have known
for so very, very long
and you soothe me, not to worry
by scarred and loose wires
By crossing hearts

Always Be.

Hold me
Not like before,
Not like then,
Like now,
Like we’re scared,
Like we’re not sure where we’re going,
Like we are each other’s only hopes,
To see it through the pain,
To feel the love we both still harbor,
Let it go,
Let it out,
Whatever you have left is real,
It will never be the same,
Never be like before,
But it will always be.

For Them I Go

Moments such as this,
When I am alone in thought and deed,
I think of all that sustains me,
Of the others from whom I gain my strength,
My motive to rise
To meet the day,
My will to be,
I am nothing without the others,
And they are everything to me,
And from them,
for them,
I will,
Even when they are not near,
Or even should they no longer be here,
I will and do,
For family, blood and otherwise,
They whom are my life force,
My lifeline,
My all,
And so for them I go,
Set out into the unknown,
The sky,
The deep,
And through it all,
I shall remember who,
Their faces etched in mind,
To sustain me,
Deep breath,
One step,
I go.

Love Is

Love is tear drops on a goodnight pillow when a “goodnight” is missed,
Love is concern for well being at even the most minor of scrapes,
Love is foregoing the good, so another is not left alone,
Love is giving the hard truths when most needed
Love is the tear stained shoulder,
Love is band aid kisses to make it all better,
Love is letting go,
Love is holding on,
Love is finding meaning in seemingly insignificant moments,
Love is an infinite abstract source
That keeps finding new and awe inspiring ways to be made known
Love is.