Here I am,
Freer than I can remember being
In a long while,
All these fresh, glistening feelings
Settle in upon me:
Emotions, sensations,
needs, desires;
Things I’ve pushed away
For so long,
Too long
Aspects of being,
Delights of life that I have denied myself
Become now apparent glittering possibilities,
Present reminders
of my sensitive, seductive self;
Pieces I shuttered for safe keeping
For too long,
But never gone
Only held;
Rising, here and now
Transformed
Into a new manifestation;
a Goddess,
Refined with time and pressure
Ready too for her due from life,
In more than the hefty weight of the world,
But in the ripe exquisite beauty and pleasure of its bearings,
Forged and fiery,
with light of the sun she gleams,
A diamond emerged from the rough.
Tag: Freedom
Returned
I
never realized I was held
by fear of him
Until I gained the strength
to go;
Until push came hard enough to shove
And I realized
I
was not yet
as fully powerful
As I thought,
While I stayed,
Under his weight;
It was in the run,
In running
Away
That
I
felt the surge
Felt the start
Of me coming into me,
In the run
I
saw who I was
saw who I could be,
Saw myself standing out of his shadow,
And saw what I was capable of;
In leaving,
I
returned.
Pent-Up
Get it out
The pent up
The block;
You,
Levee on the verge of break
Needing
controlled release
Express the unsaid
The wordless,
With body, spirit, mind,
Any way
To let out
The In,
The feelings
The feeling trapped
Get out
Of the cage that
Is both unlocked
And ever
open
If, But: In the Way
If
he were not already gone
Would I have even thought
To talk to you?
Would these feelings have been hard to navigate?
The want,
The enjoyment
Of something normal
I would have had guilt about it
If
he were still
In the way
If
But,
he is Not
Being Free
I never meant to
Hurt you,
In doing me,
In being free,
I never considered all the pieces,
Laid out for you,
To see,
A half filled life,
With something missing,
Someone not beside me,
Not of their choosing,
In doing the necessary,
To get by,
These were never steps,
Toward saying goodbye,
This was never about you,
This was always just me,
Exercising
What it means to be
Free
Free
Liberation,
In your own way you’ve taught me about that,
About the cage always being open,
Even when we fear we’re trapped inside,
Liberation,
Taking off chains of willful acquiescence,
For a higher plane of being,
For freedom,
A word we take for granted,
And abuse with use,
Liberation is escaping,
But returning to free one’s brethren,
Until all can claim to be,
Really and truly,
Unbound,
Unowned,
Free.
She of Letters 