Being Free

I never meant to
Hurt you,
In doing me,
In being free,
I never considered all the pieces,
Laid out for you,
To see,
A half filled life,
With something missing,
Someone not beside me,
Not of their choosing,
In doing the necessary,
To get by,
These were never steps,
Toward saying goodbye,
This was never about you,
This was always just me,
Exercising
What it means to be
Free

Uncomfortable

We’re almost face to
face,
But you won’t look at me,
Make light with
jokes,
When this is so
Uncomfortable,
I tell you that
I love you,
I’m in love, still,
And you can’t
Return
the
feeling,
But won’t walk away,
Won’t see
me go;
And so belabor the pain.

(Not Sorry) I Love You

I love you,
You know that,
And we’ve been through so much,
Come so far,
And I love you,
So I am sorry if I loved you before you were ready,
In a way you can’t love me,
But I love you,
So I want your happiness,
Even if that means without me,
Even if this feels like death,
I am sorry,
sad this is,
As it is
But I am not sorry I love you.

The Space Between

Do you get lost sometimes
In the wondering,
If things had gone differently?
If perhaps you and I hadn’t,
Ended?
I do.
But then again I sometimes go back further,
And wonder what if,
We had never been.
–And I wouldn’t want that for the world!
In the time we were ‘us’
I became,
A grown woman,
Found my first real love,
My first real heartbreak,
Became stronger,
Became bolder,
Learned love wasn’t as clear and cut,
As a Hallmark,
I learned love could grow,
Could evolve,
Shift, morph,
Transcend time and space,
Love like ours does that,
Love like ours has its own language,
Love like ours is intangible,
yet it touches every nerve ending,
Pleasure and pain,
Love like ours stays with us,
No matter what we do,
Others might interpret this as guardian seraphim work,
But from what I feel I know it’s you,
We are connected,
No matter the space between,
From our fingers once intertwined,
I am still yours,
As you are mine.

Always Family

We were never
Meant to be alone

We were all
Meant to be together
Never meant to go
But if we don’t go
We never remember
Remember to never forget

We were always family
Still are
Just don’t look
Like we expect
“family” to look
–each is different
Each requires
Compromise,
Patience.