Captivated By

This one
He’s different
In the best ways,
Like no one I have known,
We connect
Somehow
In ways I do not comprehend
And I appreciate
Him
Not just because
Of the flattery
Rather I’m captivated
By this one
This mystery
This man
Of balance and brilliance,
Sympathetic and sweet,
Brain and brawn,
Cuteness and curiosity,
Who too seems
Captivated
By me.

Version (Penguin) 3.6

“Version 3.6”
I wrote this long before I even knew what it would feel like
to be loved and pulled in a way that…
or wait, I did know. I knew in a juvenile version,
a purified, clear love
that had no expectations
no demands. and here we are
so very close and yet so far,
in all directions,
cycling closer moment by moment.
i’m impatient. How do you wait
when so so very close?
i feel your calm,
and humor in seeing me squirm
for something i am so positive you’ve known
for so very, very long
and you soothe me, not to worry

“Desire”
no harm no foul,
all in its right time.
that the way love goes
its not about the phsyical
alone
its about something that transendsc all we know so well
all we know to well
and here we are in this virtual space
and i know
the desire was never a sin
it was a symptom of the pull
of being so close. often derailed,
malfunctioned by lose wires

“Broke”
you and I
we each broke
in and now we see the path we’ve traversed,
our shuttle to nowhere but each other.
could you drive in your sleep and find me?
dont, but
You’ll pass familiar attrations,
ones your history past
and past has imbued in your mind with memory,
but now its time to smash
smash the pain,
and realize those memories
were just place markers for everything else

“Bodies”
your loves are real
and syphoned into different bodies
for different purpose,
patience, love
it is what you think,
not all things you think are true,
this one is.
and you know
both do

we

both do.

“Game lost”
funny is cute and damn
I must make it so hard
to keep back all you know.
this is the slowest
most excruciatingly tender end
to a game,
i’ve already lost
as soon as I remembered
and thats always been the goal,
to lose, to let it go, to find
yourself in another body,
and together to grow
of ourselves

“UP”
together grow
ourselves
by raditaitng the want, the need, the care,
the love, the 2 am, 3 am fixation
in to a powerful tangle of ecstacy,
patience,
we’re both so good at that,
too good…
but times almost up.

times up.
that scares you
it terrifies me
how much needs to tell us
this is it?
and if its not…
it is.

“Children’s Wishes”
we manifested this as children,
before and when we knew each other,
child prayers, spells, wishes
are the most powerful,
you begged me to STAY
to know you

“Higher”
and you watched,
every word flow from my mouth
and pen,
before we both understood any of what it meant,
before we both “woke”
body, mind or soul,
we were each others alarm,
sirene you sang,
and it got me
higher

“Forgot to Hide”
i sang to you
and I forgot
why I might want to hide,
and here I am doing the same,
with fingers and words,
and I want,
and I need,
and i desire
and I want you to have everything
in the same
and new capacities,

“Beautifully Grown”
you made yourself
everything beautiful you wanted to be,
and I made myself the same,
of and for me
because that it just who we were,
and you fell
in all ways to the reality
and the possiblity of future,
and then you saw me
all
grown
up…

“DAMN”
and damn…
DAMN!
no other 4 letter word captures
the breathtaking shock
and what every fantasy
of yours has been wrangled
and poured into one body,
one embodied soul that you fell for
in a different time and place,
as a spirit, mind, body.

“dimples “
Seeing that smile makes me
feel like a child again,
and points me to eyes
eyes that I cannot figure out the color,
chocolate moonstone eyes
that color change
everything you
is a testatment
to all the things i wanted for self,
or admired in
a dream love….
right down

to the wetsuit

And my favorite animal

how better to lure the Oshun?

1.24.2023