Be, For the Lost

Loss,
Of anticipated moments,
Of a hope for something new,
Grief and confusion
Fill this void
What to do,
Without the one
Who was not, was,
and then suddenly lost

Be human,
Be sentient,
Breathe,
This is your moment to mourn,
To find life again
After it’s loss,
Pick up the pieces of
A scattered you,
Learn again how
To laugh,
To live
For love,
For the one
You lost

32 Years

This evening I turn 32;
A decade since I cried
With bronchitis
Not knowing what to do,
A decade since I swore I’d failed,
That not knowing what would come next
Is what was making me fail

This evening I turn 32,
So much has passed since I feared

My body was at the end of the line,

That my chance of treatment was only giving me
Borrowed time

This evening I turn 32,
A flip of my favorite number
A number I’m not sure why,
but I’m drawn to,
Everytime

This evening I turn 32,
And look back
at what 32 has brought me,
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
My heart
Inside

And then there is
The heart that beats
Outside my breast,
And snores
To assure me,
Yes she takes another breath;
And a love that snores much deeper
Than our babe
On the other side
of my body

This evening
I turn
32,
And like at years 3 and 2
Insomnia wakes my dreams
To wonder on ,
And on,
And overthink
My next 2 to 3, to 32 years

Discipline and Love

February 4, 2016

“Do not,” “no”
This is discipline
This is love
“Just keep working hard”
This has been
Making you strong
This is because
I might not
–will not,
always be there
To protect you

One day
I will not be able
To say
“No”, “don’t”, “stop”
One day
I will be gone
So now
While I am here
I will prepare you
And make you strong
With all of my “no’s”