The Loop

Driving the loop,
Just to come back home.
Once my destination was a no go,
The scenery became the highlight.
Taking turns and noticing things I had not on previous trips here.
In awe of the view out my window,
There is so much out there
That I am kept from,
Trapped in here
In thought,
Immobile with fear, anxiety and sorrow,
Thoughts twisting and turning, on bends and hills, and slopes; looping,
Like the Acadia road,
But void of the scenery 

I am working my way out,
Edging toward the door,

To be in the world,
To be free of the cycle of this loop.

Grounding

Sodalite,
Smooth and fitted to my palm,
I hold this tight in my hand,
Anchoring my concerns in this small stone,
To lighten my own vessel,
To smooth over jagged edges of anxiety,
That lights like struck flint, within my core,
Breathing,
Soft, cool air streams through passages,
Into my being,
A worried heart slows in pace,
Patient breaths repeat,
Palm still cradling stone,
My mouth opens
And words sheltered in the cavern of throat
Carefully, thoughtfully, tenderly escape,
My belly pushes forth these sounds in composite form,
As fingers swirl around a hard stone base-
Not visible to my own eye,
But dark blue, brown, and black with delicate lines of white, in memory
From this space, I pull my strength,
Am reminded of my connection to the Earth,
To the interconnected web of existence,
I am made steady,
To pull from myself what I long to communicate;
Grounded,
I am strong.

Sit with Uncomfortable

You hate waiting,
Sitting on the unknown,
All the inevitable
What ifs
Through the mind slip,
Sanity
Chasing after unrealistic expectations,
Hopes and dreams,
Of things just out of
Reach,
Its a reach
Ice cube’s chance in hell probability
Probably,
its probable
That you’ll be disappointed,
So you lower
Your expectations,
Until you don’t expect
Anything;
Beautiful
look up,
Who hurt your heart?
Made you doubt you deserve?
Hold out
your heart,
But don’t sell out
For less;
Patience,
Sit with your uncomfortable
Knowing you’re the best.

Puzzle Pieces

At times, the possible evades us,
Not because it’s not there,
But because we’re too scared
To pick through the pieces of what we can see,
The mess,
The muck,
The unclear,
The overwhelm,
And that’s where anxiety brings us,
To see everything and
Nothing at the same time,
Look,
But closer,
Deeper,
One piece at a time,
Even a 1000 piece puzzle
Requires this discipline

Pent-Up

Get it out
The pent up
The block;
You,
Levee on the verge of break
Needing
controlled release

Express the unsaid
The wordless,
With body, spirit, mind,
Any way
To let out
The In,
The feelings
The feeling trapped
Get out
Of the cage that
Is both unlocked
And ever
open

Rx: Breathe

2.12.2023

Anxiety is fear
Like a heartbeat
Like a pulse
A drip,
Fed through the system,
Headed for
And moved unwittingly
By that very heart
To the heart

Breathe in,
Feel;
Feel wind,
Air,
Oxygen
Rush, flood in
Into the system.
A reboot,
An infusion
An intervention,
A pherisis of essence

Breathe out;
For fear, anxiety
Built up is toxin
Is builder of other toxins
In the effort to protect from the hurt

Breathe in;
Smell, taste, feel, know
even see this air,
H20 medicine
That can soothe a frenetic heart
Back into rhythm

Breathe out
So that heart,
And mind too,
May remember their own cycle;
Cycle
Letting tensions go
And of
“Breathing”:
Tensing and relaxing,
Taking and releasing;
Letting flow
In and out