Lonely is not my end,
It is but a chapter
In my epic story;
Nights alone,
Basking in a blue light
Soothing and healing internal hurts
From love gone wrong
Is where I am meant to be,
Right now,
For now;
Tenderly mending from in to out,
Alone,
to never again be truly lonely;
Here, preparing my heart
For whatever is next,
Building its muscle
To jump back in,
Wanting,
But patient for Love,
Biding my precious time,
For someone loving,
ready and worthy of me,
And what I have to offer in return;
With one life to live,
I will appreciate the embrace of the dark
Until when I am ready and willing,
To be
embraced in the dark.
Break Molds
I break molds,
Always have;
Despite how one might read me
I compulsively add caveats,
Exceptions to the case;
Once upon a time,
Frustrated by being outside boxes provided
I aimed to understand,
Why the damn boxes even existed,
A lifetime up to now
I realize they were created for the same reason
I was on a quest
–To understand,
A something that is beyond
Our understanding
–Understanding
Ourselves;
See I was never an anomaly
I was just the first
and only me;
My exceptions broke a mold
that never truly fit,
It’s people like me who continually fix it
–The question,
Not the answer;
It’s ever expansive,
The knowing of self,
It’s the frustration,
The confusion,
The loss and despair,
That makes us gaze in a mirror one day
And appreciate the person there;
Without the pains,
the pleasure of being
Is never so sweet,
lost to be found,
We only appreciate
And think to look up,
From the ground;
I break molds
Always will
April Shower
Rain came,
With wind blowing in the cool mist,
The drops gently falling
To trace the contours of the dry land
Touching all in its midst;
Thirst is quenched,
If just for a day,
With this single spring shower;
Puddles collect within dimples of earth,
And slowly build,
Overflow,
And run freely as translucent ribbons,
Streams flowing,
Spreading,
Mixing necessary libations
Of and for life.
Goddess Emerged
Here I am,
Freer than I can remember being
In a long while,
All these fresh, glistening feelings
Settle in upon me:
Emotions, sensations,
needs, desires;
Things I’ve pushed away
For so long,
Too long
Aspects of being,
Delights of life that I have denied myself
Become now apparent glittering possibilities,
Present reminders
of my sensitive, seductive self;
Pieces I shuttered for safe keeping
For too long,
But never gone
Only held;
Rising, here and now
Transformed
Into a new manifestation;
a Goddess,
Refined with time and pressure
Ready too for her due from life,
In more than the hefty weight of the world,
But in the ripe exquisite beauty and pleasure of its bearings,
Forged and fiery,
with light of the sun she gleams,
A diamond emerged from the rough.
Dandelions
Yellow-faced dandelions push up
Obstinate to the cold that still hangs in air
That promises and serves frost still,
To dew drops and windowpanes,
Spring is here,
In an in-between, limbo of seasons,
Summer and winter, each hedging for the bigger presence,
This is the nature of the season,
Spring—mediator between hot and cold,
Light and dark
On this segment of the wheel of year,
All determined by the closeness
And felt warmth of one star.
Returned
I
never realized I was held
by fear of him
Until I gained the strength
to go;
Until push came hard enough to shove
And I realized
I
was not yet
as fully powerful
As I thought,
While I stayed,
Under his weight;
It was in the run,
In running
Away
That
I
felt the surge
Felt the start
Of me coming into me,
In the run
I
saw who I was
saw who I could be,
Saw myself standing out of his shadow,
And saw what I was capable of;
In leaving,
I
returned.
She of Letters 